Why it’s so hard to relax (and how to make it easier)
all of yoga podcast · episode 31
Relaxation - it sounds so simple, yet it’s one of the biggest challenges of modern life. Why is it so hard to truly rest, even when we know we need it?
In this episode, we explore the science behind why relaxation doesn’t come easily and, more importantly, how you can train your nervous system to make rest feel safe, natural, and deeply healing.
If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I’ll relax when this task is done,” or struggling to switch off even when you try, this episode is for you.
Expect practical tools, science-backed insights, and gentle encouragement to help you break free from the stress cycle and embrace rest as a skill you can practice and strengthen.
What you’ll learn:
🧠 Why your nervous system resists relaxation and how stress becomes your “new normal.”
🧠 The role of your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) in keeping you stuck in overdrive.
🧠 How to signal safety to your body and shift into a state of rest and recovery.
🧠 Practical tools to make relaxation easier, including breathwork, grounding movement, and Yoga Nidra.
🧠 Why removing the pressure to “relax perfectly” is key to building a sustainable relaxation practice
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Why it’s so hard to relax (and how to make it easier)
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transcript - Why it’s so hard to relax (and how to make it easier)
Hello and welcome back to the All of Yoga podcast. I’m Holly from Yoga Hero, and today we’re diving into something that sounds simple but is actually a huge modern-day challenge:
Relaxation.
Why is it so hard to relax?
Why do we know we need rest – yet resist it, avoid it, or struggle to actually feel rested even when we try?
If you’ve ever found yourself saying things like:
“I’ll relax when this busy patch is over”
“I just can’t switch off”
Or maybe you do lie down for a rest… but your mind starts racing…
Then this episode is for you.
We’re going to look at why relaxation doesn’t come easily – and more importantly, how you can train your nervous system to make rest feel safe and deeply healing.
Let’s get cracking!
Why it’s so hard to relax
Let’s start with a bit of science.
Your nervous system has one main goal: to keep you alive. And it does this by constantly scanning your environment for danger – even if that danger is just a demanding email or a full to-do list.
When your brain detects a threat, whether physical, emotional, or imagined – it activates your sympathetic nervous system, your fight-or-flight mode. Definitely have a listen to episode 29 ‘what stress is doing to your brain’ to find out more about that.
Have you ever heard that phrase; neurons that fire together, wire together? That’s what’s happening, because, the thing is, that the more you live in that mode, the fight or flight mode – constantly busy, overstimulated, overwhelmed – the more your body gets used to stress.
It becomes the new normal for you.
What makes rest easier?
So the good news, the great news is:
Relaxation is a skill.
And like any skill, it can be learned, practised and strengthened over time.
Here are a few ways to start making it easier:
1. Start with the nervous system
Understand that relaxation isn’t just a mental decision, it’s a full-body state.
You need to signal to your body that it’s safe to rest.
How do you do that?
Breathwork
Even simply paying attention to your breath will help your nervous system understand it doesn’t need to be in survival mode. For even more impact simply doubling the length of your exhale tells your nervous system: it’s OK to slow down. Please, when practising any breathwork, just like asana, if you experience any discomfort, do something else.
Grounding movement
Yes gentle yoga postures, slow walking, or rocking can help shift you out of your head and into your body. But also, sometimes you feel too frustrated to do slow movements, you feel like your head might explode. Doing some big poses that challenge big muscles might complete the fight or flight response, helping the stress hormones move out of your system. Try lunges bending and straightening both knees to challenge your leg muscles, or squats or a goddess pose - you get the picture!
Yoga Nidra
More on this in a moment, but Yoga Nidra is one of the most powerful tools for nervous system healing.
2. Remove the pressure
Many of us try to relax perfectly, setting up the space, the playlist, the timer—and then feel frustrated when it doesn’t work. Does that sound familiar?
Let go of the idea that relaxation has to look a certain way.
Start where you are. 3 minutes counts. Sitting up counts. Sighing into your tea counts.
3. Practice regularly, not perfectly
The more often you practice relaxation, the easier it becomes. It’s just like learning the piano or learning another language - the more you practice, the easier it gets.
You're building a new neural pathway. The more you walk that pathway, the stronger it gets.
Even if the first few times feel awkward or restless, stop when it gets too much, but just try again in a bit. Keep going hero, your nervous system will learn.
Relaxation is not a luxury.
It’s not something you have to earn.
And it can become a natural, healing part of your life, with practice and patience.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If it resonated with you, please do share it with someone who needs to hear it.
And always, happy practising.